Everything
by Clockwork Night
Summary: Mello hated Near, that cocky attitude, emotionless... but that didn't mean he hated Nate, sometimes he wondered if they where even the same person. MelloXNear, Yaoi, cut, fluffy, rating for yaoi and Mello's mouth,


**Everything**

**Song by: Lifehouse**

**Story By: Hiei's Nightmare (Devit M)**

**I do not own Death Note, Mello, Near or anything of the sort, I just wish I did.**

**EXTREME OOC!**

**I'm using a quote in here that an rp France I was with once said, **

**YES I MADE UP WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THEY MET AGAIN... GET OVER IT BRO**

**A/U I have no clue where this came from, I was sitting on the steps talking to myself late at night and this came up.**

**But Enjoy**

I hated Near.

I hated how he was better at everything. Those eyes, emotionless and cold. Staring right into a man's soul. I hate how he cares more about puzzles and toys than people. How he seemed to use people to his own advantage, in those ways I see just how much like L he truly is.

I hate how cold he is, how untrusting. How he doesn't allow himself to get close to anyone.

Mostly he doesn't let himself get close to me...

I always told myself I hated Near with all my heart and soul and nothing could change that.

But that doesn't mean I hate Nate...

Nate River

That child that captivated my heart with a single glace. I find it difficult to believe he and Near are one in the same. That they are both the innocent child who still needs someone to help him though life.

Sometimes I lie in bed at night, wondering... does Near ever get lazy or bored, does he get scared or feel ignored, does he make wishes on stars and dream?

Like every child should?

It took me many years to get over the hatred I hate for him, then realize... it was never hatred that I felt, that I complained to Matt about, no, it was an obsession, love, even. I wondered for years after we separated if he was out there somewhere, being the new L, maybe he was fighting Kira and being strong like he couldn't be when he was a child.

I wondered if he even remembered who Nate River was anymore. Or if the name Near had become him, I wondered if he still played with toys and created puzzles and riddles that made no sense. I wondered if he still would go days without eating or resting, if his eyes still would make me stop in my tracks.

I wondered if he was still that cocky asshole who didn't seem to give a shit about anything. But I remembered those few times I would really insult the punk, and then hear him cry in his room for hours...

Damn guilt... get out of my head!

I once asked him when we where quiet young what beauty was and if he saw it in me, I remembered his response clearly, since it was the first real emotion I saw in the albino,

"I find beauty in all people, even those I despise. For after all... what is beauty? Something that is pleasing to the eye? Perhaps. But is true beauty not found in something, because it is unique? Because it stands out, and is therefore beautiful? And are not all men unique creatures in their own right? Therefore...I see beauty, in watching a world full of unique souls _live_. Perhaps live with pain, but fight it- with for something more, better..._beautiful_. So yes, I do see beauty in you. Your eyes. Your smile. Your stubbornness even. Because despite that there are copies of us... each one is unique. No two are exactly the same. And it is... breathtakingly beautiful."

I remembered looking at him differently ever-since that day. Because I knew he cared, even if it was just a little bit. It meant he, unlike everyone else, found me...beautiful...

"Mello..."

That whisper brings me out of my own thoughts, I turn to see the albino child- no...man in front of me, he stares pass me with cold, unloving eyes that I know are a mask

"Near..." I say, I take a bite out of the chocolate bar in between my lips.

He hasn't changed, a piece of his white hair in his delicate fingers, dark circles under his uncaring eyes, he truly looked like L Lawliet.

"What are you here for Mello?" He asks, his other had in dangerously close to the very first domino in the long set, one little move and the walls would come crashing down, like his own had been build up once more.

"Whatever it is that I was sent to do, that is none of your damn business Nate! But I will be number one!" I yell, I see him taken back, so he hasn't forgotten Nate River... those intense but emotionless eyes stare into me, his lips slightly parted.

"You look the same Mello..." He says, pointing to the rosary around my neck, I was never a religious person, I didn't know what to believe, but I felt much better with it gracing my body.

The albino in front of me was crouched in a ball, he was pale.

"You're still trying to be a dead man, kid?" I ask, pressing my boot onto his neck, pinning him to the ground. For the first time in so many years, I was in control, I was seeing this beautiful creature in front of me groveling on the ground because of me.

"Miheal..." the albino before me whispered. I was surprised at first, I never heard my true name in his mouth before, or heard him say it.. it was always _Mello._ He doesn't move from under my boot. I'm a little worried I'm crushing him.

"Why did you leave?"

I stare at him, moving the leather clad boot from his neck. "There was nothing for me there.. you where chosen to be L's successor. That's all I wanted, to be as good as him, better than you, but I'm second best again!"

Near stands up, he was shorter than me, but he had grown since I last saw him. He's still crouched over, just like L, crippled by sitting like that for far too long.

He looked up to me, his eyes halfway closed, his lips parted in a way were, well, to be honest, I didn't know how to resist him...

I pulled the albino child to my chest, leaning back onto a wall. "M-Mello?!" He hissed, "What are you do-"

"Shut up Nate..." I said, hiding my face in his shoulder, "Just shut up..." He complied, I could feel him sink into my body, he wrapped his thin arms around me as well, giving back into the embrace. I smiled into his white hair.

"I do not understand this..." He whispered, "This contact I have wished for since Mello and I lived at the Wammy House...why does he choose now?" I wanted to see his face, but he hid himself in my chest His fingers bushed my rosary.

"Because..." I answered, holding him close, "I didn't know what I was thinking... I-I thought Matt was my love..I thought he was my future, I was wrong, Near...Nate...he's dead now.." I felt his body tense up,

"I did not know Matt was dead..I did not know if Mello was alive...I almost didn't know if I was alive anymore..." He whispered, "No one has spoken to Near since the Kira case ended years ago...I do not want to be alone."

"Your not alone..not anymore..." I smiled, leaning down to kiss him. His body froze up, then after a moment, he leaned into my touch...

No...

We were no longer alone.


End file.
